You do everything for everyone. Living overwhelmed, tired and seriously on the verge of a breakdown. Feeling unappreciated and trapped. Ready to break some shit.
You are known for your ability to get shit done. Reliable and responsible and constantly rushing around. The people in your life need you. You make their lives easier.
Leaving yourself with no time to take care of yourself.
Leaving yourself depleted.
You are turning yourself into a person you hate.
All because you won't say no instead of always saying yes.
Today, I'm asking you. No, scratch that.
I'm begging you to say hell yes to saying hell NO.
You are drowning in tasks on your to do list (how many are actually for you) and don’t want to keep living this hectic lifestyle. Fearful of disappointing others. In need of a support system.
You think "If I don’t do it / help them who will?".
Come on !
If they aren't doing it, why are you ?
I say, it’s not your problem.
(FYI. I'm not saying abandon your responsibilities as a parent or adult. What I am saying is get creative with what you choose to do and how much time you commit. Or delegate the shit out of it to people who are good at it.)
Think about the following questions …
By taking on extra tasks what are you achieving?
Is it to prove yourself? (You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.)
Is going to win you friends? (There are other ways to get friends.)
Is it because you want to help and you truly care about the task at hand ? (That’s cool but be realistic about how much time you can commit.)
Where are you making sacrifices in your life at the expense of others? (Is it really worth it?)
Benefits of becoming a “hell no woman”:
1. Free up time for self care.
Remember when you said you were going to start exercising and eating better? Or that you were going to plan ahead for your week to stop rushing? And remember that dream of getting enough sleep so you feel rested?
It hasn't happened yet because ... you have no fucking time.
Your struggle with not having enough time to take care of you is a choice. And at this stage, possibly habit. A bad one leaving yourself in the dust of other peoples lives.
What happens if you don’t take care of yourself?
More exhaustion. More shitty moods. Your health drastically declines. Stress levels rise.
What does that look like in a year?
By saying hell no, you can free up time for exercise, connecting with your loved ones and possibly the pedicure you’ve been putting off for months.
You need time to breathe.
Rushing around and being stressed out is terrible for your health.
Got extra weight that won’t go away no matter what you do? Your lack of time to recharge is usually the culprit. Oh, and cortisol hormone. Cortisol is the bitch of all hormones.
2. Take back your power.
I know this sounds all woo-woo but it’s real.
When you take on tasks that you don’t want to do, you lose your voice. You feel unimportant and go into martyrdom. Becoming a victim.
To summarize, incase I wasn't clear on the first go. By choosing others over yourself you are telling yourself that you don't matter.
Which is straight up sucks.
How much time do you spend complaining about having to do the task you agreed to?
Make a decision: accept it and quit bitching OR say no and move on.
You are not being helpful if you half-ass it.
3. Face your challenges head on.
Got demons and insecurities that have been haunting you for years?
I believe that we often take on extra tasks to avoid dealing with situations in our lives. We also emotional eat for the same reason. Avoidance of feeling our feelings.
Ya feel me? (Insert We are the Millers lines here … no ragrets )
By constantly existing (notice how I didn't say living) in a state of busyness, we can avoid emotional traumas and push personal growth to the back burner. You won’t make progress in how you feel about yourself if you choose to avoid your challenges.
Your intention of making changes to have a different set of results just won't happen.
So now that you know the benefits to saying yes to saying no, you have the solution to stepping out of overwhelm and chaos in your life. You will be in control of your time. Choosing where you spend your energy. Feeling more in control.